Okay, I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t know the secret to happiness. I’m not really even sure there is one. I mean, I’m not really sure there is just one. Everyone’s happy is different and that my friends, is the focus of today’s post. So, put on your reading eyes and enjoy this quick distillation of a few things I know to be true about happiness.
Yes, you read the above correctly. Not everyone has the same definition of happiness. One man’s happy could be another woman’s, “what the hell even is that?” This is where the first secret to happiness comes in and honestly, this one does apply to everyone. Don’t judge another person’s happy. That person with their read window caked in stickers, that woman who chooses to dress in only 1950’s era clothing, or that guy who spends his free time immersed in video games, all those things make those people happy. Who are you to suck out that happiness with your judgement. Two things happen when you judge someone for what makes them happy, but you don’t understand. One, you hurt that person’s feelings and no matter how confident that person is in their choices, they will still have a moment or more of questioning themselves as a result. Two, you hurt yourself. By judging what makes someone else happy, you limit yourself and prevent your own happiness to flourish. Next time you find yourself judging someone’s choice, stop, then see how you feel by considering if what they are doing makes them happy. You will find that you become a little more happy by knowing that you are recognizing someone else being happy. It might even allow you to tear down some of the walls you’ve built and start to open up more about what makes you happy. You like Precious Moments figurines, but you’re afraid of being judged? Screw it. Buy those things! Show those things! Be happy about those things and you showing your happy will be infectious and those in your life who you thought would judge you might just become a little more happy themselves.
Let me just point out that I do mean that these things that make someone happy should not include anything that hurts others or hurts that person. If murdering pizza delivery people makes someone happy then by all means judge that person, but first turn them in to the police. There are some pretty logical ranges of this point, but I think you get the picture. Murder, theft, self harm, substance abuse, over eating, bullying, under eating, and littering to name a few. And to add another disclaimer here: don’t be mean about it. Okay, maybe be mean to the murderer, but from a safe distance.
“Are you doing something you enjoy to do?” - Gary Vee.
Another aspect of our happiness is what we do. This could be work or leisure. I think Gary is referring to work in this quote, so we’ll focus on that. So many people are in jobs doing something they dred or hate. Punching in and punching out and being miserable over and over, day in and day out. I know that not everyone has the option to just quit and chase their dreams, but it’s not always about dropping one life for another. Find that happy in what you do and maybe a little outside of that and soon, with enough work and time, you will find yourself doing something you enjoy to do. If you have the means to just quit that dead end job and start painting for a living then do it. If you don’t have the means to quit then after work go and buy a canvas and some paints and get to painting a little every night. Finish a painting and then sell that painting. Do this over and over after work and on the weekends, little by little, and maybe just maybe you will earn the means to quit your job and paint full time. It’s often about baby steps. (see 5 Ways To Accomplish Your Goals Easier)
“People are insecure and buy things to get validation from others.” - Gary Vee
Gary is at it again with this quote. He’s talking about our need to buy that nice car or those expensive clothes in order to reduce the judgments we get from others. Are things things really making your happy or are they masking your sadness in a monthly payment? Sure, they could make you happy and if so, great! Be happy in your Porsche and your Armani, but don’t buy those things to please others. If you’re happy in your Ford Taurus then be happy in your Ford Taurus. If you’re happy in your jeans and a t-shirt, then rock those threads! Of course you should still be respectful of others and if the invitation says “Black Tie” then at least try to wear a button up and some slacks. Take a look at your stuff and Marie Kondo that shit and ask, “Does this item bring me joy” with an emphasis on the ME of it.
In conclusion, wear that shirt, put that sticker on your car, get that tattoo, and buy that doll. Find what makes you happy and rock it. Don’t worry about what others think because they don’t have to live in your sadness. They just watch from affair and if they judge you for your happy then they are only hurting themselves and you should direct them to this blog.